I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
