i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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