for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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