nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
where are you?
Hypothermia
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
