Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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