You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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