Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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