Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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