i just wanna soil my oats bro
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
