If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
