He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
