Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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