okay pat passed out under dana's car
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
