The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You have to summon your inner elephant
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
