She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
