Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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