well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
