i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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