Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
