Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
