her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
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