Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
