Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize