would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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