My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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