When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
