yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
