Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
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You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
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I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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