Im at strip club and am horny
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
