I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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