You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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