Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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