Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts