just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.