Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.