he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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