They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??