Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.