Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck