haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.