Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
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So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today