Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
