Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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