i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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