why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Operation Purity has been aborted
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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