Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
