but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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