I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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