I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
