Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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