laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.