i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?