Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?