I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?