onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
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Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that