not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize