We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
