He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
