no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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