He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
