Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
