her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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