somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
