capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
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Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
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That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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