did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
