He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize