Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
