also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
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Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
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How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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